i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
