my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
