if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
