hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
