hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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