he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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