The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
