honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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