were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
