Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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