Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
