Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
