His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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