You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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