i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
