literally had 100 drinks last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
