You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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