there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
