What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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