how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
