"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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