So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize