Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
