there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
