We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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