Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
