Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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