U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize