I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
