I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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