What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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