your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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