It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
