I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
