Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
