Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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