Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
