A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
