when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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