SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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