Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize