Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize