Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
