All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize