When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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