dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
