dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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