I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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