I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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