I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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