this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
