I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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