These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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