My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Randomize
