I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
