Christians are straight up FREAKS
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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