Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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