I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You took a bar mat shot.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
