That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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