How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
