imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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